Just under a year or so ago things started to sort of spiral for me in relation to my mental health and well being. Anxiety and periods of being quite down was something I always struggled with, but certain things such as a death in the family along with some other things added onto it as I got older and multiplied it all. It was something which I was always quite aware of but I think tried to fight off or ignore because I just couldn't really face acknowledging that I wasn't ok. This sort of ignorance got me to a point where I felt as though I was going to explode last summer, and I honestly have no idea how I got through those few months.
It took a toll on me in every aspect of my life; family, work, college, relationships with friends and others. Eventually the thing that 'pushed me over the edge' so to speak was a small and stupid fight which absolutely wouldn't have even happened if I was in a right frame of mind - but it always seems to be the smallest of things that gets to people in that headspace. From then on I struggled pretty much every day. I didn't feel I had anyone to properly talk to as I felt as though everyone had their own stuff going on and I felt completely isolated and alone.
It got to a stage where I just couldn't cope anymore, and I started to confide in one of my best friends quite openly, got myself up to the GP and I was put on some meds to try and help me get back to level ground. I had actually gone to the doctor on numerous occasions for help but always ended up bottling it at the last minute and blaming the trip on my asthma. This was all about 4 months ago, and to be honest not much has changed since then other than me trying to be more open about what is going on in my head and try to accept that this is just a part of who I am rather than fighting it or being ashamed of it.
I know first hand that not addressing or looking after your mental health can just completely destroy aspects of your life, and I wish the surge in positivity about mental health and the support that is around today was more prominent when I was a teenager.
I turn 23 on May 9th, and instead of spending whatever money we would on a night out, my friends and I have decided to put that into Darkness Into Light to try and raise as much as we can for Pieta House - an absolutely amazing service. Any donations no matter how much are more than welcome!